Cooper City

He's only one foot from the boat

If only there were also a Meredyth City! haha we had an awesome time visiting one of my favorite places in the world...Uncle Scott and Aunt Kathy's house. I hadn't been since right before I went to college. Cooper had never been, so it was a good bonding experience with family while we enjoyed relaxing and having fun on our Labor Day weekend. We couldn't get off of work long enough to stay as long as we would've liked, but there was still plenty of time to squeeze in some things we had never done as well as enjoy their company. Besides being so loving and caring to us, they are hilarious and loads of fun. You can imagine there was never a dull moment. I was content with visiting while sipping Aunt Kathy's sweet tea in the pool while watching football on the outdoor TV. However, there was still plenty of fun to be had. We kicked off the trip with an Everglades tour. "How far is that, Uncle Scott?" -20 minutes. That's the standard answer for everything. "Where's the beach?" "How far is it to Miami?" "How long before we get to downtown Ft. Lauderale?" Twenty minutes from all that is quite a location for living.

Following the boat ride was a demonstration at the zoo there. This guy was showing us what not to do at home.

After the Everglades, we enjoyed the pool, football, and waited on Kaylea and Ryan to get there. Later that night, we went to the Marlins game. Although Marlin baseball isn't quite as intense as Cardinal country, I did get to support my husband and his love for the Braves, who actually ended up winning.

The surprise guests who threw out the first pitch were rappers Fat Joe and Pitbull. Both are pretty good and have done a catchy mainstream song or two. Pitbull is more of a Latin booty-jams kind of artist, but it's catchy nonetheless. He screamed out "Miami! Where my Latinos at in the house to night?" Kaylea and I couldn't understand him, so we screamed as well. All the latinos around us were looking at us like we were weird. But then again, we are the minority. The next day, we went to downtown Ft. Lauderdale by the New River to enjoy some Jazz music and go sight see. There were tons of dogs and babies, so we enjoyed our people watching. We ended up eating at an Irish pub with the best fish ever on the river and taking a cruise to see all the mansions in Ft. Lauderdale. It was tons of fun to see where the owners of Taco Bell and Netflix lived. We also saw the Miami Vice house. There are too many to list, so check out the photo album on Facebook. Below is my favorite house.

Weddings...weddings....more weddings!

It seems fitting to post about weddings since we just celebrated our one year anniversary. Side note: our cake was fabulous even a year later thanks to Dumplins! I must have a thousand pictures on this computer from the countless weddings Cooper and I have been to. I hate to say that weddings can get redundant, but people can put their own personality and flare into it. I must say we've had lots of fun at other people's, and then it was our turn. There is a definite difference in attending weddings before you're married and after. It seems so much more meaningful. But anyways, I will hit some highlights for our road trips to these wonderful moments of matrimony.

Moriah and Jack leaving by carriage. Great friends!

Who could forget Micah and Patty's beach wedding. AMAZING!

Yes, that's right. Moriah's parents made the wedding party shirts that said "Moriah and Jack's Pre-Wedding Holiday" and packed us in a church van!










Definitely the most ritzy wedding we've ever been to. We felt so important!









Notice the seals exhibit at the Memphis zoo behind us. This reception was at the polar bear exhibit!












JJ and Heidi's Jamaican wedding. Tons of fun, and beautiful!
















Josh's groom's cake. What can he say? He loves his iPhone!
















And the best moment ever!

Grieving

I think sometimes that people expect you to be over stuff. They move on, so you should. Or you get upset at the fact that everyone else can move on when you can't. It's like the world should stop. People ask how you are doing less and less. They think about your loss and your grief even less. It's not that they are selfish necessarily. It's just that they can't understand unless they have been where you're standing...and even if they have, it's probably been a while. So, they have found ways to cope and survive while your heart is broken. These past four weeks have gone by so fast and yet so slow. My mind has gone through these very feelings of grief...

I've heard that there are 7 stages of grief:
1.) Shock and denial- This isn't happening to me. This can't be IT. How in the world are you able to hold your Grandma's hand as she passes away? How are you able to watch her struggle to breathe? It's only because of the fact that your mind doesn't digest what you see. It's a complete denial...otherwise, it'd be unbearable to do.

2.) Pain and guilt- If only I had gotten to the hospital fast enough. If only I had known. Then, I could've spent more time with her. I would've come home last weekend. I would've talked on the phone with her longer a few days before.

3.) Anger and bargaining- Why does everyone else get to have their Grandmother's longer? Why did she have such a hard life? Why could've she have just been in remission once? It's not fair. Severe pain for 40 years....how is that even fair? And don't you dare say you know how I feel.

4.) Depression, reflection, loneliness- I like to be alone, I have found out. If I could just make my self busy enough, maybe I wouldn't realize how sad I actually am. But then again, maybe I want to wallow in it, because I should feel miserable. If I'm not, then it's like her life meant nothing to me.

I haven't gotten to the other stages yet. I find myself saying things like, "My Grandma makes really elaborate and gorgeous gift wrapping and bows herself. It's like every present was wrapped at Macy's!" Then, it becomes real all over again that she's not here. It's in the present tense, because it still hasn't really sunk in yet. I know it's going to. My Mom has said it will become real and final instead of having feelings that come and go.

I can say with complete confidence that I know everything is in God's timing and in His hands. I trust He's taking better care of her than we ever could. If she wasn't so wonderful and so influential, I don't think I'd miss her more than anything in the world.

Permanent

I wish I had all the time in the world to tell you how wonderful my Grandma was. She lived her life for others and never complained. God brought home one of his most amazing saints on April 20, 2010...sooner than I was ready for but much later than she expected. One of the biggest struggles of my faith was watching what she went through year after year. I prayed everyday since I knew how that God would heal my grandma. I quickly learned that he would not painful day to the next. I changed my prayers so that they would be, "God, get rid of her pain, or at least ease it...you can do that, right?" I'm not sure if the pain was ever eased, because she wouldn't tell me if she was hurting or not, but I know that as of April 20, he answered that prayer. It wasn't the way I had hoped or imagined, but that's why it's not up to me. I'm not sure I understood how God's strength and love was made perfect in her weakness (1 Cor. 12:9-10) until her memorial. People told of what she meant to them. I got a chance to read through her Bible and see the kinds of thoughts she thought when no one else was around. Her faith was unshakable and spread to so many around her. How many people have an impact like that? And how many people would live a life of suffering for God's sake? Had she not been so sick, would she have had the same opportunities to impact people....only God knows. But I know that she made my life better and shaped who I am. If only I could see her now....

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them." Revelation 14:13

"Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled:
“Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”
For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1Corinthians 15:54-57

"A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth." Ecclesiastes 7:1

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." John 14:27

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.
We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died." 1 Thessalonians 4:13-15

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits arebeing renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you.I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10

WORDS OF COMFORT

These are the verses that keep me going. These are God's words to us, because he knew we would despair. He knew we wouldn't be able to handle the things that would happen to us on our own. I find myself being encouraged by these verses, but I also question things I've always known...not because I think that they are suddenly untrue, but because I'm faced with an unspeakable sadness that threatens the core of me. Things I have believed to be true are now in front of me as things that HAVE to be true. I've never had to rely on those truths so heavilty until now, so it's natural to desperately hold onto them while Satan throws doubt your way. Can good come out of every situation? If everything is working together for my good, then why did Grandma suffer, and why is my heart broken now that she is gone?

"Will you think that you're all alone when no one's there to hold your hand? When all you know seems so far away, and everything is temporary, rest your head. I'm permanent."

I Do

Meredyth's Take: Every morning I watch "Reba" on Lifetime while I'm getting ready, because entertaining and happy. Besides my quiet time, it's a good way to start the day. Today, I discovered the episode was about the Reba's daughter and her husband, who got pregnant at 17 out of wedlock. They got married and continue to live under the mom's roof. The two were arguing about all of the things they were missing out on, but the episode ended with them agreeing that marriage was definitely a sacrifice but one worth making. Before I get to the light-hearted fun we've had as a married couple, let me first make one thing clear: I am definitely an optimist, but when it comes to marrying the man of my dreams, I had to be a realist. Marriage was going to be hard. Thus far, we've battled surgery, the flu, unemployment, a natural disaster, disagreements that seemed impossible to resolve, and how to mesh two families. I wish I could say that every night we play the Wii, stay up for hours on end talking about our dreams, and cook elaborate meals every night. We haven't been married long enough to give advice or even get out of the "honeymoon phase," but believe me when I say we have learned a lot through trials and struggling together through different things. It's how God brings us together and teaches us things. Cooper complements me perfectly. It's like a puzzle, but way more entertaining.

The reality is that there is also a ton of fun, laughter, love, and cooperation. Having no money has turned out to be great, because we can experience the thrill of finding extra change, dumping it into the coin counter at Kroger, and going to buy a pizza as a treat after spending our last dollar. Working hard while Cooper was in school and recovering from knee surgery taught me how to serve him and how hard it is to provide, so I will in the future appreciate him even more and more as the kids come. On days like today when I'm discouraged or defeated, there are just a couple flowers in a vase so I know he thought of me without dropping the big bucks. What more could I ask for? I've gotten to open Cooper's eyes to the phenomenon of "Friends." And how many guys are willing to watch "You've God Mail," or "Gilmore Girls?" I think I hit the jackpot. He puts up with my fits, rants, and drama without a complaint, just a smile and a calming word or two. One of my favorite things is that he will never let me roll over and go to sleep without kissing me goodnight. Sometimes, I'm already asleep before him or frustrated about something on occasion, and he still will kiss me goodnight. Is it super cheesy that I want a wall stick-on quote that says "Always kiss me goodnight;" no, it's too appropriate.

Well, I could go on forever about our marrige, but I thought I'd hit the highlights. Before I conclude, always know that marriage will be the second best decision you ever made besides your decision to follow the Lord. Besides having Christ guide the marriage, I found a Will Smith quote helpful. When asked how his Hollywood marriage to Jada Pinket could possibly last when so many fall apart, he said "Well, we went in knowing leaving wasn't an option. When you decide that, then you are motivated to work through everything, because what other choice do you have?" I didn't say, "I maybe do if I am in the mood," or "I do....for now." I said I do forever!

Cooper's Tale: I find myself in job interviews being asked about what I feel like is one of my greatest accomplishments of late. It doesn't take me long to answer because I genuinely feel that getting married was just that. People like to give a little smile and think, "Oh how cute, but that gives me no reason to hire this guy," therefore I have no job. I digress. But seriously, getting married has been one of the greatest things I've ever done. It has by no means been the easiest thing I have ever done though. I'll get back to the greatness of marriage in a moment. Things have definately been different in my life for the past 7 and a half months. I didn't grow up with girls. My mom, bless her heart, only had sons so to me, she was not really a girl. I knew she was in the sense that she wore dresses and had long hair, but my mom was not really a girl. She threw baseball with us, she watched football games, and she occassionally put up with our smell. So needless to say, me moving in with a girl and living with an actual girl was a world of difference for me. Not to mention, I married Monica Geller. I went from only making the bed if guests were coming over and that was only if they were either going to be staying in my room or momentarially peaking in, to making the bed everyday with the comforter turned down and every pillow in its proper place. And to this day, still don't do it right or still don't do it everyday. Meredyth knows where every single item that we own is placed and unless I placed it there, she ordered it in a fasion so that either it is alphabetical or layered according to frequency of use. So I've had to go to school on how to live with a girl but Meredyth has also had to go to school on sharing everything with a boy. She grew up with brothers but didn't really share everything with them. They each had their own domain and rarely cross the battle lines into the other's territory out of fear or later regret from encroaching upon the siblings sacred space. So sharing a bed with a boy has been a learning curve for Meredyth. But she has taken to it better than I have. I'm a creature of habit and it takes me a long to rid myself of a habit that I learned as a wee little boy.

So in brief, those have been the tough things about learning how to be married. And getting married and actually being married, as I have learned, are completely different. Each enters in with their own expectations and comes to soon find out that those expectations are not going to be met and if that expectation was false, it won't ever be met. But soon you learn how to discuss money, food, clothing, furniture, things in general, as a unit because it is not just about you anymore. That's been tough too because Meredyth and I have not been the normal newly weds. I was in school for the first 6 months of our marriage and on top of that, had recontrustive surgery to repair a blown ACL from me playing flag football. But you know what, I wouldn't trade it for the world. This is the good part that I was talking about earlier. Things have not been the easiest for Mer and me but you know what, they sure have been fun. I've eaten my fair share of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches over the past 7 and a half months but I've come to love them more. I couldn't have asked for a better wife and companion to journey through life with. She's great. But enough about her. I love being married and would recommend it to friends. But I will depart on saying this one thing about marriage: have some realistic expectations of what marriage is and what being married actually looks like because it is not all roses and butterflies. Sometimes it is hard and sometimes it tests you to the core of your being, but if you know that coming in and are willing to stick it out, it's a gimme. So for those of you out there thinking about getting married, pray about it and ask God that he bring you that person who is willing to fight with you and for you because no one wants to fight alone.

It's Mighty Morphing Time!

Cooper's Tale: Really? Meredyth went online and somehow got onto this website where you could put a picture of each of us on it and morph our faces to see what our baby would look like. Now I'm looking at this kid and I think he and/or she has shadow ears and one fat cheek and the other is an extreme, chisled jaw line. According to Mer, the kid looks like me but honestly, I don't see it. Maybe the eyebrows but that's about it. Hopefully our actual child will be more symetric.

Meredyth's Take: Facebook does this weird thing where it caters its sidebar advertising to your interests. Apparently being married 7 months qualifies you for all the baby stuff. It asked if I wanted to morph my face with my husband's, and I said, "Oh boy, would I?!" So, I morphed our faces. It may not be extremely accurate, but I did have to do some serious facial breakdown before it combined the two. And the result....TA DA! We have Cooper Jr. I guess this solves the debate of whether or not our kids will have a head full of hair like their dad or be bald as a cue ball, requiring bows to be glued to its head if it were to end up being a girl. At least it got my cute nose!

Please don't judge us!

A Time of Firsts

Here is Mollie as the Cottonelle dog. Then, she ate the toilet paper.

Meredyth's take: So the "Summer of Meredyth," as Micah called it, is now over. Cooper and I have had a great time with our first Christmas, first time living together now that we're married, first pet, first trip as a woman to Gatlinburg (which I've been dreaming about since I was little), and more.

Due to popular demand, we'll have to post pictures of Mollie, our Golden Retriever, lab mix. She's as cute as can be and a little odd, so she fits in with us. I know what you're thinking, and no, we are not crazy pet people. However, we do love her, and she keeps us entertained and busy. Plus, it's like we get to practice how we discipline, how we nurture together, etc. I know that sounds cheesy, but I really feel like it is good practice before babies on down the road. Cooper always wanted a dog, so I gave in. We have a lot more going on than Mollie, but we'll introduce her before we get into all that. We have to catch you up on the fun we've had so far.

Cooper's Tale: Meredyth posted as "Meredyth's Take" so I decided I'd be unique in my posting and put it as Cooper's Tale. We'll see how long that one lasts. So it's true, the "Summer of Meredyth" ended but the "Life of Cooper McMeredyth" has just begun. Fun, quick story behind how that came about. The fraternity that I was in, Lambda Chi Alpha, gives nicknames to the new pledges each fall. Mine ended up to be something really stupid but my good friend Todd Whatley originally nickname me Cooper McMeredyth. They shut that idea down once Meredyth and I broke up for our short stent and decided to give me some nickname that I can't really remember right now. So that's how Cooper McMeredyth came about. As Mer alluded, we got a puppy Martin Luther King Jr. Day of this year and she was also right by saying I was the biggest advocate of getting Mollie. I had never had a dog because we had a cat growing up and every time we would ask for a dog, my parents would say that once the cat dies, we could get one. 20 years later, the cat is still alive and I had to get married to get a dog. But I love the little pup. Being a stay at home dad has been a real joy for me since getting her because we've gotten to bond throughout the day. I've taught her how to sit, how to ring the bell when she needs to potty, and am thinking of other things to teach her. Mer already posted a couple of pics of Mollie so I don't see the need to post anymore. I've become a dog person through taking care of Mollie and it has given me great insight to my future as a father. I've realized that I'm going to be a huge pushover and if I have little girls, I'll be done for. Well that's all for me. Meredyth and I will continue to post our paralled views of situations and happenings in our life and hope that you enjoy keeping up with the McKelvey's.